Fortunately or unfortunately, the obsession of a person is something that everyone is dealing with these days. Common reason is that we are humans. We have sentiments and feelings. And when an attractive person comes into our lives, we start fantasizing him or her. At first, most of the people realize that the feelings are rising to a certain level. They step back and part their ways. But a majority of the world, especially in today’s society have intensified their emotions because of the too much usage of social media, where the topic of love and emotions is the hot cake. And hence they end up being obsessed with the person they love.
What is OLD?
The word OLD is an abbreviation of the term “Obsessive Love Disorder”. It is an ill state of mind in which a person is uncontrollably attracted to another person. He considers this thing love. He thinks that he is in love with the person but in fact this is beyond love and becoming a psychological disorder. In which the beloved person becomes his obsession to this much level that he cannot afford his beloved’s sharing to anyone. And if he has to share the person with others, it makes him outrageous and he then starts destroying everything around him or her including his/her own self. At first OLD didn’t have any treatment introduced. But as the time passed, and people understood what obsession is all about, innumerable treatments have been introduced for the patients since then.
Are people being obsessed with the opposite gender only or it is happening between the same gender too?
Now, when it is 21st century, get ready yourself to see all the taboo topics to people’s favourites. The talk of the town are those things for which people were reluctant to talk in the nineties. The reason for this is the over implication of social media in our lives. For example when you keep watching pornography on a regular basis on your mobile then a time will come when you no longer hesitant to watch such movies anywhere or maybe in bright sunlight, sitting among your friends. It was strictly prohibited in the eighties or nineties. There were no social media nor such brothels to this extent that you have in your society today.
Coming back to the topic, similar is happening with being obsessed about the opposite gender or same gender. In the past the idea or concept of lesbian or gay existed but it was hidden and was considered as a bad behaviour. People were use to distant that person who is lesbian or gay. But today in many countries like the USA, India, France, and other European countries have passed the order for such relationships to be legitimate. These are the legal relationships now. Of course people do hostile such people in today’s time but those who are having obsession for the same gender, are openly into such relationships. And even having babies now through surrogacy.
Obsession leads you to do crimes:
Normally people have this notion that love leads you to be a good person and do good deeds. And it does affect your personality in a good manner. You become more humble, deal with the situation with patience, you develop the habit of forgiving people easily, you smile a lot and stay happy most of the time. But when you have an obsession for a person or you are obsessed with a person you love, you are uncontrollable. Being with that guy or girl becomes your topmost priority no matter how heavy it costs. For that matter, if you have to lie to somebody or manipulate, steal the money from your family, hide things, skip your job or responsibilities or even torture yourself physically, you would do that without having second thoughts. Why? Because your obsession for that person leads you to do that.
Obsession hurts you really bad physically:
Yes! You read that right. Obsession hurts you badly. On one hand when loving to that person is giving you intoxicating pleasure that you couldn’t possibly have if he weren’t around, it causes you serious physical torture on the other hand. The first thing you do is to skip your rest. You don’t sleep. Insomnia is the biggest health problem with people these days especially with those who are in relationships. Other than this, you cry a lot after getting into a dispute with your partner, skip food that leads to stomach disorder, sigh often, tries to commit suicide, cut your wrist to bleed, inducing high potency medicine in yourself, and weeps.
Depression and anxiety are your bedtime friends after getting into a relationship. Which causes anemia afterwards. Because tension and anxiety cause low red blood cell count. Minor health issues include weak eyesight because of using too much mobile, muscle cramps because of holding the phone in the same position for hours.
The mobile usage;
People who are under the obsession of a person use mobile too much. They scroll various sites all day long in search of beautiful love quotes illustrations that they can send to a person they are obsessed with. Moreover such people develop a habit to put their mobile close to their heart or under their pillow at night. So they can check on their partner promptly. But mobile radiation to your body from this much closeness especially for your brain is extremely fatel. People even put their mobile on their chest in the wait of a text or a call from a person they are under obsession with. Using mobile too much causes itching and redness in the eyes.
You start maintaining distance from your family and friends when obsession of a particular person roots in you:
The other most important habit that you develop under the obsession of a person is maintaining a distance to your friends and family. Initially such a person puts a high security password on his or her mobile to secure the text messages, call history, photos and other information so no one could ever see any of his or her stuff. While sitting among family or friends a person who is under obsession of his or her lover, hides mobile from people or leaves the room when they want to receive a call or make a call.
Naturally family and friends when they suspect such behaviour, an obsessed person maintains a distance from them. Because the obsession of the beloved has rooted deep down in him or her to this extent that he or she cannot control it nor willing to leave the beloved. So eventually, he escapes from the family and friends to spend more and more time thinking about the person he or she is obsessed with.
Your mental health depends upon your beloved’s mood and behaviour:
When you are under the obsession of a person, that person’s behaviour determines what your day would be like. This is pathetic, but this is true. If the beloved is behaving nicely, an obsessed person will be extremely happy, full of life, energetic and happily willing to help others without wanting anything in return. Even such a person’s metabolism and internal organs’ health gets better with the beloved’s attention. On the contrary, if you are under the obsession of a particular person and that person isn’t giving you any attention or affection, you would fall down to the ground just like a house of cards. You don’t feel like going to work and spend the whole day in bed.
Depression kicks in and urges you to cry a lot. Like psychopaths, such an obsessed person gazes at the mobile screen, awaiting a message or call from the beloved. In sheer anxiety and stress, a person who is under the obsession of a person fights with his immediate family and friends and even strangers. Because he or she is suffering from an utmost psychological dilemma that can’t be described in words.
An obsessed person constantly wants the beloved’s attention and presence:
Under the obsession of a person makes that person a freak. It’s the 21st century. We all have plenty of work to do on a regular basis. But an obsessed person puts his or her all important works aside and yearns to stay connected with the beloved constantly. An obsessed person wants to visit daily, often makes calls and sends texts to their beloved after every 20 to 25 minutes. And if all of this doesn’t happen, they fight with them, complain deliberately or even try to hurt their beloved physically. The obsession has destroyed their mental stability to this level that they even find solace while fighting with their beloved that at least they are talking and connecting, no matter even if it is a fight. This is terrifying and toxic, but it does happen with the people who are under the obsession of a certain person.
You become a stalker under the obsession of a person:
Stalking your crush for two to three days or frequently in leisure time is actually healthy for you. You do that for entertainment. And enjoy your time. But when somebody becomes your obsession, stalking your beloved and monitoring every move becomes your priority. You follow all the social media handles of your beloved and make an inquiry about every like and every message. If your beloved gets online on any of his/her social media accounts for too long, you will act furiously and shout at him or her.
Forcing him or her to stay connected with you all the time causes suffocation. Your beloved will certainly not understand your possessiveness but will consider you a freak or a psychopath. Stalking too much will also snatch your peace of mind. Because after all your beloved is an individual too, who has its own lifestyle and people. But your constant enforcement on him/her to be with you will eventually create even more trouble for your relationship.
When someone becomes your obsession, you lose interest in education/job/activities/family and progress:
When your life is totally on someone’s mercy. You are vulnerable then. Your beloved’s action will determine your future life. That person you are obsessed with will decide whether you will be happy or not. And your beloved is not doing these things intentionally sometimes. It is you who gave complete control of your life into someone else’s hand. You are the one who ruins your own life. That person has become your obsession to this extreme that when they are not around you lose interest in your studies.
With them your grades are good, without them you fail to impress your teachers. Same is the case in the office. When the person you are in love with shows their presence in your life, your conduct in your office improves to a great level. Having said that, your performance in the office slows down to a visible level when you are having a dispute with the person who has become your obsession. You lose interest in other activities and family gatherings too. Nothing makes you happy except that person who is your obsession.
How will you get over the obsession? Super effective proven methods and Quick tips:
To skip the fuss and long passages, here are some superbly useful tips and methods which will help you get back yourself the way it was. After all, leading a normal is your birthright. And how can a person usurp that right from you just because you like them. You need to adopt these tips one by one. Don’t rush, take it slow and give yourself time. Don’t push it, but also don’t slow down the process too. Remember one thing that the person who has become your obsession is in your roots now. That person is mixed in your blood and sewed within your soul. You cannot separate the obsession easily. However with a constant knock, any kind of door can be opened. So don’t give up. Just do all of it with time and space.
The changes that you have to make in your life are;
- Open your eyes and look at yourself in the mirror, realize what kind of things you have been doing so far in your beloved’s obsession.
- ALWAYS REMEMBER ONE THING, the Man God has stored for you, will be just for you. You won’t have to beg for his attention, love or care. You won’t have to steal him from another woman or guard him. Even you won’t have to sleep with him or take off your clothes just to keep him. You won’t have to lie to him about what you feel and how you are dealing with the situation. All you need to do is to wait for the right one. He will come and make you feel like a Princess. You don’t have to flatter someone like a Prince at first, to be his princess in return.
- Stop giving other people the right to control your life. Not other people will decide, when you should be happy and when you will cry.
- Don’t make your emotions and tears too cheap and worthless that any person can ruin you. Value yourself.
- STOP WAITING. Keep looking at your mobile screen for a message to pop up or a call. Or looking at a door for that person to come will not give you anything but pessimism only.
- Your constant availability will make you worthless and your value in the eyes of that person will turn to zero. People under the obsession of the other person makes their beloved arrogant only because of one thing, their constant availability.
- Get a life! Ask yourself why are you so free to stalk them or talk or visit or even think about them? Even when you have a complete life of your own. You are getting pimples, dark circles and headaches, you are smoking and drinking now and frustrated all the time. But for no reason actually. Why are you giving so much importance? Just because of the looks? Or one or two good traits? They will forget you in no time when they meet someone else better than you. You have to raise yourself as an independent individual. And embrace your good qualities. If you polish yourself to maximum level. Such people will follow you or will try to associate with you intentionally. You must have to learn the idea of forgive and forget to get over a person and get back your old self.
- Consider the fact that if you can be born without them, trust me you can live your whole life and even can die without them as well and with pretty much ease. Because the world is full of good people.
- Be focused on your career. Know that love is an important part of life. But life doesn’t depend on a person’s love completely. There are so many people in the world who live alone without any love and still have groom themselves. You need to set an example of your character in a positive manner. Instead of declaring yourself an obsessed person who has an obsession with a person and messing around.
- Religion plays an important role in calming the soul. It is completely fine to fall in love with someone. But causing problems for the beloved and for the society because of the obsession is not fine at all. If you love them, ask help from God. If the person is better for you, the universe will make it happen. Even if you are an atheist or pagan, know that only the supreme power has the ability and strength to make impossible possible. Closeness to your religion, prayers and recitation of the holy book of your religion will give you internal solace and peace of mind. And gradually you will become actually powerful to let things go or happen as predestined.
The final words:
To culminate the discussion, one thing is obvious. Obsession causes trouble for others. It not only harms you in any possible way but it also hurts the person you claim you are in love with. A strong love does not need possession but admiration. A strong love always has the capacity to let go of the person if they want to. If your love has power, they will come back to you, and if they won’t, it was just need and time pass, not love. Having obsession with a person will lower down your dignity and respect in your own eyes.
You will not be able to see yourself in the mirror confidently. There will always be an embarrassment in the pit of your conscience for those acts that you have done with your beloved and with other people in your obsession. That will haunt you down every night. So try to behave like a normal person. And don’t make your love your death bed.