We humans are the moving dynamites in this world. Now this sentence must have baffled you. But it is the reality. The word dynamite with human doesn’t mean that the human body can be exploded or it has something to do with deterioration. By saying so, means that humans have innumerable emotions and feelings in one body which can be triggered easily by a mere fluctuation in his/her daily life events. It is true that in one life span, people come and go. You meet with people, you lose, you learn and you grow by granting forgiveness.
These procedures are the part of life. But this isn’t the end. You cannot live alone. Leaving people behind you and move on doesn’t the right way of living. For the survival in life, you need to engage with people in your social and personal space. This engagement cost disputes, quarrels and rude debates. At the end of every unfavourable situation, someone has to ask forgiveness or grant it. And eventually someone has to step up with a decision, of whether giving or asking for forgiveness.
Its never been an easy task to do;
No doubt granting forgiveness is never an easy job to do. Except small things, the big things or mistakes of the others, sometimes takes an ugly shape that you can forgive or even forget. But for move on with the speed of life people do forgive the culprits. However, the emotional scars of the wounds that people get by the sinners remain the same. But because the life has to move on, that’s why the process of pardon keeps on going. The difference is the speed and style of the forgiveness that is quite changed among people.
Sometimes people don’t the how to forgive someone. They find themselves unable to process the activity of forgiving the one who did wrong to them. For that they need guidance and assistance with which they can make up their minds about forgiveness. Because if the world won’t learn about forgiveness, no one would live in peace and the crime ratio in the world will be reached at the pinnacle point.
Not Forgiving Initiates another Crime or Sin;
When a person after doing something wrong and come to ask for forgiveness, whether he is sorry by all his heart or not, don’t consider that, rather his courage of asking forgiveness should be obliged. A person who is asking for your forgiveness is true to his heart or not, this shouldn’t be the central focus of the debate. One should consider his efforts. Because it may take him tons of courage and bravery to accept his faults in front of the others.
Not forgiving the person initiate the other crime in reaction. If a sinner or the culprit is forgiven at the very spot wholeheartedly, a sense of embarrassment and not doing that mistake again generate in the sinner.
It will cause further irritaion;
But if he hasn’t granted forgiveness, this will create a sense of rage, stubbornness and insult in him and he won’t feel reluctant in doing that sin or crime again. This doesn’t mean that you should forgive a person after doing a murder. But you should have the courage to forgive the person for almost everything apart from murdering someone. It is seen in people in the jails and in prisons that they committed, even more crimes after not granted forgiveness in the first place.
Forgiveness weakens a sinner and made him sensitive. And if you forgive a person after a mistake, most of the people get back to the right path. In a nutshell, a society can be safer and flourish if the process of forgiveness circulate widely. www.cdc.gov
How to Make up Your Mind for Granting Forgiveness?
When a person gets hurt by someone, it’s very hard to forgive and forget the person who has done wrong with you and the crime easily. The wound, whether emotional or physical decides in how much time will the victim take to grant forgiveness. Sometimes, a victim takes more time than usual in forgiving the person. This behaviour creates stimulation of committing another sin in the culprit.
That’s why, it’s important to learn how to grant forgiveness after suffering a bad experience with someone or after a catastrophic event or a kind of misbehaviour by a person. This process is divided into steps that will make it easier for you to forgive and forget. These steps are:
Make up Your Mind First! If You are Ready or Not to Do the Process;
At first, you need to agree yourself with a notion that sooner or later you will have to grant forgiveness to the person who has done something wrong to you. Making up your mind is really important. Only then you will be able to forgive and forget what has been done wrong with you. If someone has done something wrong with you and you forgive that person at the very moment, don’t consider that action of actual forgiveness because you didn’t forgive the person by heart.
You just skip the fuss and avoid the unnecessary intrusion. This behaviour won’t soothe you or heal you, but only create a disturbance in your mind. And begets the negative thoughts for the culprit. That’s why it is mandatory to make up your mind first before granting forgiveness. Make yourself ready that at some point, you will grant forgiveness to the culprit because you need to move on to the very wound you have.
Try to Remember the Good Traits of the person;
This will work like a therapy. If you want to forgive someone, most probably your mind will not allow you to do so. In this situation, try to remember the good deeds of the Culprit. You can reminisce his good works with a friend or a family member. This will ease the burden and start convincing your mind to think in another way too. Because if you keep remembering the incident that hurt and tortured you in a bad way, you won’t be able to even see his face even for once.
So try not be negative and remind yourself about the good parts of the person also. The best way is to sit alone and think neutrally about the good deeds and habits of the person. This will certainly melt your heart.
Let’s Not to Forget that You Aren’t Perfect Either;
Human beings are the embodiment of mistakes and fallacies. Nobody can claim that he is perfect or he hasn’t done anything wrong in his life. So, whenever someone goes off the rails with you, consider the fact that if that person has done anything wrong, you aren’t perfect either so, he deserves a second chance or forgiveness. Maybe you have done something wrong with someone else with even more intensity and the karma is happening with you.
That’s why, whenever someone do anything bad with you, go into your past and analyse, if you have done something similar to anybody and didn’t ask for forgiveness. Maybe your apology to the affected person, ease your pain too, that you have received from the others. We humans, make innumerable mistakes in one life. We can’t claim to be self righteous. Therefore, we have to consider the options of forgiveness while being victimized of someone’s bad deed.
TALK! This will Allow Your Mind to be Open and Soft for Granting Forgiveness;
Quitting talking terms with the culprit has never been a rational decision so far. When you quit talking, the rift between you and the other person vast to this extent, that it becomes impossible for one to get closer anew. Quit talking fades the warmth even in the relationships which has no dispute between them. So the two people who have a sort of trouble in the relationship, if won’t talk, it will destroy the bond between them and forgiveness won’t happen in years.
Moreover, talking with the culprit (not that much, but a little), will not let the ice freeze and make space to talk on the very point that hurt you. It will also give you space to think on the other side and will be helpful to melt your heart and grant forgiveness. https://www.theshreds.org/how-to-fight-back-depression/ talking with that very person, who has done wrong with you, help you to move on with the incident and forget the past.
It’s OK of Having No Strings Attached in the Future With the Culprit, but Granting Forgiveness is Important;
Humans have the different tendency to grant forgiveness for the crime that has hurt them to the core. Some people forgive at the very moment, understanding the reasons behind the scenario. While some take a couple of hours to forget the incident and forgive. whereas, Some of them requires days to penetrate the incident and then forgive. Most of the time the victim doesn’t agree to have strings attached with the culprit after granting the forgiveness.
And this isn’t mandatory. What’s important is to forgive the person wholeheartedly. If after forgiving the person, you want to maintain a distance from the person, it’s pretty much fine. Sometimes, you too need time and space to understand the importance of the person, remind his good deed from the distance and analyse, if you need to get back your relationship with the person or not. So while granting forgiveness, don’t think of the strings attached in the future. Just forgive the person with an open heart.
Organise A Meeting with the Culprit or Face the Person from the Front for Granting Forgiveness;
At the final stage, arrange a meeting. Not for chit chat but to just forgive and forget a person. If you study in the same school, college and university, confront him/her by yourself or if he showed up frequently don’t avoid him/her and let him/her talk. Confrontation is very important. When you see the culprit after taking your time to think and with the willingness of granting forgiveness, it will be much easier to do the job.
If the culprit comes to you often and ask for forgiveness, it will be even easier to grant forgiveness. Try to clean the air by forgiving the person. You may heal your wound by sharing your hurting with the culprit that you faced at that time. Then forgive the person with forgetting past completely. Remember one thing that you could have done it with the same way and after doing your catharsis, you could ask the same for forgiveness.
So, if you could expect the same from the other person, you should do the same. Do grant forgiveness with complete honesty. You will feel as you have released a burden from your chest.
Let Bygones be Bygones! Once Forgiveness is granted;
Don’t be cranky. Means that, once you forgive someone don’t hide things in your heart. Forgive the person and forget the past. If you keep hidden the hurt feelings in your heart, you won’t forgive the person with true and sincere mind. Rather, you will merely speak the words. This won’t make a difference or even stays between you both for long.
At some point in life, the aggression will burst out and your anger and rage behind your hurt will be showcased. Then the forgiveness that you granted earlier will be meaningless.
Therefore, let bygones be bygones. Move on with your life. Consider the fact that you have so many other things to do in the life apart from this issue. If you get yourself stick to this, you won’t be able to go forward, but to stuck remain in the past with deep agony, hurt, torn and full of rage emotions. Moving on by granting forgiveness will train your heart to be big and wide with people and in unfavourable issues of the life.
Summarization to the Discussion;
Forgiveness is a gift. If one has the ability to grant forgiveness on minor or major misdeeds that have happened to him/her, it’s a blessing. Having the emotions of anger, greed, jealousy, aggression and agony and revenge is not something good to have in one life. Forgiveness makes you kind, good, moral and ethical. This kind of demeanour develops the habit of letting things go more easily. The society needs kind people to get along with the fluctuating situations.
Forgiveness alive the humanity in a person. That’s why, one has to have the ability to grant forgiveness in any minor or major situations. By developing such habits like forgiveness and empathy, we can save our society from going into chaos.